SoakingIn

Option A: What the fuck? Option B: Oh my Fucking God!

You may choose your favorite title and insert it at the top of this bitter journal entry.

I am currently in DE class not taking notes, anyone who knows me knows that that is extremely hard for me to do. Well boys and girls, I found a few ways.

Option #1: Fuck with my friends
If you hurt my friends and then drag me into the fucking situation I am going to be pissed off. That's right, pissed off. If I see you on campus (if the you I am referring to even reads this entry) then you sure as hell better hope that I don't find you when I am alone because I can't be held accountable for whatever happens to you. You crossed the line again and again, in terms of strikes you reached a record breaking 10000, ass hole. I don't want you in my life anymore, or in anyone elses for that matter. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it, what you did contradicts common sense and common decency. I hope you're happy. No, I take that back, I hope you aren't.

Option #2: Graphically visually represent something that is already uncomfortable for me
So I realize that for 90-something percent of you reading this, option #2 makes absolutely no sense, well I don't give a fuck. I know what it means, and at least one other person does and that's all that matters to me. It's honestly no one elses business and I will personally decide who else gets to know about it. So you aren't too confused though I'll explain without any details. There are certain things that I don't want to think about because they make me uncomfortable. By giving me a graphic visual it makes the situation sooo much worse.
In dealing with #2 there are a few ways I can deal with it,
1. Try to ignore it
2. Stay bitter for a while
3. Change how I act and what I do (not how I react to this being SAID, but more how I react to it being DONE)

So fucking yay, it's 9:15 and I'm pissed off. This bodes well for the rest of the day. In dealing with option #1 there's almost nothing I can do. Keeping the bad apple around is not my decision but if I had my decision he would be gone. That's a situation I just want to be finished already.

I'm sure I made boy mad this morning by blatantly ignoring him and walking away while he tried to hug me and I do feel bad but at the same time I have too many other emotions inside of me to care. Not to mention the fact that thinking about option #2 makes me want to vomit. A few days ago I found the Japanese symbols for honesty and drew them on my wrist. This was to remind me that boy can't read my mind, so I can't say one thing but mean another; I have to be honest about it. Which means that I have to be honest about this.

Fuck

posted by Anne @ 9:11 AM