Sleep
So I know that I should be sleeping now, my brain and body feel very tired; there's just one problem. I feel like my insides are going a mile a minute. It's like the inside of my body is just spinning around and around and despite my utter and complete exhaustion I can't even lay still for 5 minutes.
I've tried everything:
I went in the hot tub, I layed in bed, I read, I watched TV, I'm journaling, I looked at stuff online, I worked more on the cake, I got a drink.
Despite knocking myself unconscious with a frying pan I don't know what to do.
Update Time
Alright, it's finally update time boys and girls.
I came back to Cincinnati yesterday afternoon from an amazing few days in Terre Haute. Although it took me being intoxicated to explain some critical parts of my personality to Zach I'm glad that I explained them, now I just hope that he remembers them. To be honest, I could probably fill up an entire journal entry talking simply about that but that may be more that I am willing to put on to this site. But to be short, things are good in our relationship (at least to the best of my knowledge). I miss him terribly even though I've hardly been gone two days.
Anyway, enough about that.
I started back at Graeter's again this summer, oh what a joy. I've been getting a good number of hours in so hopefully my paychecks (the first one arrives in t minus 15 hours) will be a nice chunk of change. The job itself is majorly boring but most of the time I manage to entertain myself. Our assistant manager is leaving shortly and Kimmy (the boss) said that he is going to be depending on me a lot more once she leaves. This means I will probably be closing again as Team Leader, I just really hope that I didn't forget anything.
Wondering about friends, funny you should ask...
My relationships with friends seem to be going pretty well. I am finding it hard to stay in touch with certain people that I would like to talk to more but our schedules don't really allow us to talk as much. Back at home though I have been able to spend a nice amount of time with friends from before college, specifically Ashley. To be honest, I think we are hanging out more now than we ever did before. She's a blast to hang out with and really good to talk to on those days when I want to lock myself in my room and not come out to the outside world. She doesn't just blow me off, she talks to me. Then of course, there's Clare. Oh my darling Clare. I missed her, I wish she didn't work as much but I get to hang out with her tomorrow night so hopefully that will be fun. I'm also hanging out with people who I haven't talked to in a long time because of certain circumstances. Specifially Kris. He and I are supposed to hang out sometime soon. I'm glad that we have been able to move past the many reasons why we didn't even speak for months on end. With a few exceptions, I couldn't be happier with my friend statuses (if that's a word).
A random thought...
I do have a question though, perhaps one that doesn't have an answer. Why do things seem different when we're apart? I know that he doesn't like talking on the phone but it just seems to come off as though he doesn't want to be talking, like it's forced, like he would rather be doing something else.
I'm the kind of girl who needs reassurance, being apart makes it especially necessary. If not told that I am cared for, or wanted, or missed, etc. I won't think that I am. Which begs the question why do I question every thought, every action, every word?
Today wasn't a good day and I don't like the mood I am suddenly in, hopefully it won't last very long
There are so many thoughts running through my head right now, perhaps because Dashboard is playing, and I kinda want to talk to someone about them but I don't know who to call. Boy went to hang out before bed and I don't want to call him back simply to say I want to talk again; Clare and Ashley have to work and I don't want to wake them up when they need their sleep. I would write down my thoughts here but there are major things stopping me:
-Too personal
-Too confusing
-My mind works much faster than my fingers
So for the time being I will lay in bed and ponder the many thoughts running through my head.
Goodnight All
Quicky
I plan on actually fully updating this sometime in the not so distant future but truth be told, I just don't feel like doing it right now. For some reason though I felt the need to write down that I plan on writing things down even though I'm too lazy to write anything down right now.
More later
Home
Well, I'm officially back in Cincinnati, alone this time. It's extremely boring as of right now. I haven't started working yet and I don't have a shit load of yearbook this summer so I am finding myself with nothing to do. Hopefully once I start working I will be able to occupy myself better and be able to not be as bored.
Hopefully in two weeks I will be heading to Terre Haute to visit Zach and whoever else is in the Haute for the summer. I keep thinking about how exciting it will be to see him again but then i realize that althought it's only a few weeks until I see him, I will only be there for a few days and then I have to leave again for a few weeks.
Anyway, hopefully I will manage to do three things this summer:
1. Spend time with my friends from back home
2. Make a ton of money
3. Make it go fast
As sad as it sounds, I miss classes and homework. Not the work itself, just constantly having something to do. I hate just sitting around the house.
